For stay-at-home-moms with young children (my only experience is with children 2 1/2 and younger) Saturdays and Sundays are often very similar to the other days of the week. We wake up, not when our alarm goes off, but when one of our children’s content babblings turn into full-blown screaming. We put on our ‘work’ clothes or what I refer to as my uniform (also it’s not hot) – nike running shorts, a sports bra and a tank top. And except for the presence of our significant other there to <perhaps> participate in childrearing/keeping one eye on child while also browsing the internet while sitting on the couch, these days off are like most every other day.
Since Brian has been living in DC during the week however, our Saturdays and Sundays have definitely been more special and different. The weekends have turned into a time for us to reconnect as a family unit and for Brian to get as much lovin’ in as he can on these kids before he leaves for five more days. Also, I allow him to get as much lovin’ in on me as he can too.
The weekends have become more special and different, but also pretty trying too. Mostly because, and I feel bad even thinking this, let alone actually writing on here for the world to see (but I’m doing it anyway…)- I just want to be alone! I miss my husband and our family time, but I don’t want to reconnect as a family unit for two days straight . I want to disconnect (for at least two hours) and be alone. Come Friday afternoon, I ache for someone who shares (equally) the responsibiltiy for our children, so, for example, if I have to pee, I don’t have to leave the door open and hope that no one falls and gets a concussion or worse while I’m relieving myself! Or, if I need to shower I don’t need to plan it days in advance and write it down on my to-do list (alright people, I can sense judgement brewing and yes, you’re right, hygiene should probably be higher on my priorities list – maybe when my husband lives with me it will be bumped up since, as many of you know personally, he does not have a filter and will certainly let me know if my odor or greasy hair is bothering him).
Brian, I have to admit, is very understanding of my need for alone time now (now that he’s moving home in less than two weeks!) and tries to offer it to me when he can. He wakes up at 6 a.m. with Claire and offers to ‘babysit’ while I go run errands (by myself). [Side note – when you’re watching your OWN kids, it’s not called babysitting, it’s called parenting.] But, since he’s only home for a short time I feel guilty not being with him (also, I like hanging out with him ’cause I picked him to spend the rest of my life with, ya know). But I get overwhelmed when I layer in all that we try to accomplish with Case (while one of us is giving him our undivided attention) on the weekends and my accompanying mommy guilt about not working enough with him and you’ve got yourself a recipe for some prime self-loathing. This balancing act of trying to be a good wife, mother and oh, yeah, just be myself, you know, Caitlin? – It’s hard!
So, although my weekends are no longer a ‘real’ break from my ‘work week’, at least in the same way they were when I worked outside the home and didn’t have kids, they are special and they’re really good when I get both my alone time AND my family quality time.
Anyone else sympathize with the ‘working weekend’ rut? What do you do to mix it up on the weekends and find balance?
<<P.S. Yes, Brian is done with his work in DC and is moving back to Yorktown to work on his next steps for his entrepreneurial pursuits! He will be home by the end of next week. And just in the nick of time too as Case has taken to picking up anything that looks even remotely like a phone (like the TV remote), holding it up to his ear and saying, “Daddy”. I’m so looking forward to a time when Case doesn’t associate Daddy with phone calls!>>